if only it were that easy.
to drift effortlessly away into the nothingness that ive become.
forgotten and alone i sit wishing for my old identity.
what is it about a career that defines who we are? why doesnt anyone remember me?
i made that life my life and then one day my life ended.
and i havent been able to get it back.
i found something else.
something old and familiar and easy
easier than cake and much more stale.
i crave a new flavor and something with frosting.
but everything makes me yawn.
and everything hurts.
i feel like ive been murdered. and i keep reliving my death.
maybe i killed myself?