More truth than I have told

At the end of my search for kinkos/fedex copiers and two printers of my own that do not work I went to the bar for pizza and hot wings... and while I was waiting a little Summit EPA.

How fabulous it was. The only thing worthwhile to crash into on my way home was a mail truck that was not delivering any mortgage payments for me.

I have had it.
This will be one for the passion blog of unedited rants I will delete at a later time..

I stepped onto the sidewalk outside a familiar hospital. I felt I had been here once before or 365 times 5 years.
There were footprints. none of which were mine. I had been nothing but my own shivering memory of a girl no one could recall.
Or were they my prints? I couldnt identify just one, maybe I am just an old memory to myself. No one knows I have ever existed at all.
If I start smoking, someone will notice.
Times long ago and moments past like the one I just had were too quickly forgotten. I am nothing to anyone.

At home it was more of the same.

I came in like I always do. Responsibly one drink drunk and sobbing. I threw things...
coats and scarves and mittens all over the floor.
How could anyone want to throw sauce ontop of pizza? Why not expose every bit of what I came for.

I feel I have been mislead. I paid for gorgeousness and pepperonnis. I have to uncover it all bit by smelly bit.

i dont know what i am rambling about.
i use to have it all
plus story telling ablility.